Has someone just kept a whole mountain on my heart... or have I just replaced Atlas... My heart seems to be crushed under some unexplained weight... a weight that keeps increasing the more I think about it... Misery might love company but the misery in my heart is attracting unwanted and strange feelings and fighting a strong battle against the small and seemingly diminishing ray of hope...
The heart seems to be overwhelmingly overfilled with a feeling of have lost something very dear in an impulse... It suddenly has hitchhiked on the chariot which somehow seems to be full of all the moments of helplessness and inadequacy...
Filled with the feeling of having not met expectations... not only others but my own...
Of having not thought of the long term but lived in the moments of instantaneous smiles... and got numerous tears in return...
Of having not being the ideal but being a mere human...
Of having trusted people easily at times...
Of having expected too much out of life...
Of always gliding into problematic circumstances...
Of having the feeling that I have raised the bar of expectation and whether I would be able to perform or not...
Of the feelings of guilt and fear...
Of the feeling of seeing no output and feeling inadequate...
Of the feeling of being in self-doubt...
No wonder the hope seems timid in front of all of these... But in it lies the essence of life and the power of youthfulness of enthusiasm... and it will make all these bickering ghosts run away... I just have to believe in it... Just have to believe ...
once again place my trust, once again believe in myself,
once again be ready to face all the challenges, once again be ready to smile...
All in all, once again be ready to live...